Everyone Loves a Dad Joke So Let's Hear Yours
“Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don’t even get paid for the stuff they do?” - Homer Simpson
When I was a few years younger, around 16-18, I'd always tell my parents I wanted to name my son Ford.
When he's not doing homework I could say "Ford, Focus!"
When it's his birthday we could have a Ford Fiesta.
When we go camping he could be Ford Explorer.
You get the point lol. Is Ford a silly human name? Kind of. Would I do it simply to make dad jokes his entire life? Abso freaking lutely.
If Tessa can't have kids then I told her I want to adopt a black baby. As he/she gets older and says things like I'm short or something like that I'll say something along the lines of it runs in the family and we're just late bloomers. That right there is a dad joke in itself.
Then if he/she says well that doesn't matter because I'm adopted I'll slam my fist on a table/counter and angrily say something like "WHO TOLD YOU!?".
Quote from NykeStorm >>
Quote from dj1jry >> Why is 6 afraid of 7?
because 7, 8, 9. 😬
Lmao thats a good one
No, it’s cause 7 is a registered six offender
Quote from Swing4TheFences >>
Quote from nodellgronk >> Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
So, I'm guilty for using this on Soldiers in the Army. When I tell them to get a haircut and they barely get anything cut, I tell them they should have asked to get several hairs cut.
whats the best time to go to the dentist
2:30
tooth-hurty
:lol: gets me everytime lol
Quote from nodellgronk >> Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
So, I'm guilty for using this on Soldiers in the Army. When I tell them to get a haircut and they barely get anything cut, I tell them they should have asked to get several hairs cut.
"How come they don’t let prisoners half chocolate bars? They don’t want them to break out"
Quote from jjmanning >> I'm hungry
Hi hungry im dad
An oldy but still a goody.
:lol: was just about to post this one.
Vegetarians often say that those who sell meat are gross, but those who sell vegetables are grocer
My tire went flat, I should have brought asparagus.
If I pulled UL Mike Vick, it'd make Miso happy.
Most of mine are 18a, but "Why cant lebron play a rabbit in a movie," Cause hes not good with hare lines
Quote from dj1jry >> Why is 6 afraid of 7?
because 7, 8, 9. 😬
Lmao thats a good one
I'm saving my best dad joke for the very end....
Fathers should prepare a Dad Joke for their deathbeds. Here's a suggestion. Wife: "How do you feel?" Husband: "With my hands!" Wife: Rolls eyes Husband: Dies with a smile